The parts of me are merging now
I'm taking them all in
The abandoned baby, frightened child
The abused and beaten teen.
I’m finally accepting now that these are parts of me
It’s taken half a century, they were so hard to see
Now I am an adult with open eyes
I can see where my inner self lies.
The abandoned baby cried so much I wanted to ignore her
She cried for her mummy, Oh, how that that hurt!
She tied me tight inside and gnawed at my heart
I wanted to suffocate her before I burst!
My frightened little girl just wanted to break free
To be left alone instead of hiding and hurting herself
To cope with her adoptive home.
But I gave her another option, to be held.
The teen, well that was harder, coz she took on all the pain.
She’s the one that was strong, cut up, self injured, over and over again.
She’s the one who took it all, was emotionally and mentally abused,
Was groomed and sexually exploited, spent her life confused.
The teen took all the punishment to protect the baby and child,
She lost her innocence by the time she was ten, her body truly defiled.
She felt disgusting and wanted to look the same.
The weight of her body to hold the hurt and excruciating pain.
Now I, the adult, hold her too, that vessel she no longer needs,
She is slowly letting go but it’s hard to feel free.
I’m showing her a new way, a life she never had
But safely now, she can’t get enough!
So if you see me running free, my red hair straggling behind me,
Having fun, smiling and laughing, singing, dancing and being a little risky
Come and join me, feeling the life, feeling the pain drain away
You now know why I am who I am, I can’t be any other way.