Grow Your Own SOUL
  • Welcome!
    • What's it all about?
    • Who am I?
  • My book!
    • The books background
  • My Panamanian Soul
  • Uganda
  • Blog
  • Inspiration
  • Contact Me

I love blogging about all kinds of things ...  

Go to 'catagories' to have a look at some of my blogs on adoption, trauma, pain, disability and some of life's difficulties, where I write about finding hope from the pain and trauma, giving you encouragement and information to move on yourself and grow your own soul just a little bit more x

Battling Anxiety.......

9/5/2015

0 Comments

 
A never ending battle that's for sure!

For me it has been a lifelong distraction to what is going on in the world and all round me. Anxiety interrupts the natural flow of thoughts and feelings. It makes sufferers miss vital tell-tale signs, that we all need to be aware of, to communicate properly with each other.

A scenario.....someone is chatting to us - just a friend - but they make a 'suggestion' - could be anything - to watch a specific DVD, to go somewhere at the weekend or to drop in and see someone. We have a fear of being 'told' or 'advised' to do something, as to us, that translates to being 'controlled' by someone else - a big problem for us.....a trigger for anxiety. Once that suggestion or advice has triggered the anxiety, we have a skewed view of anything else that is said, with adrenalin cursing around our body triggering 'fight or flight' and all sorts of other instinctive survival behaviours.

The emotional stamina needed to just 'be' in society when anything at all can trigger us, is exhausting. Since having EMDR therapy (see previous blogs) I have found being around people much easier, but when I do something different, I feel disorientated and restless and it takes time for me to 'settle' back into myself.

I experienced this today and felt disturbed by it. I am writing about it because seven hours later I still feel strange. Those of you who have read previous blogs will know that I go to Merton Meal and Market every Thursday. Today, as there was a dog show in the same hall the market is held, with stallholders from the market and obviously lots of other people around too, I thought I would go along and support the dog show organisers. I felt fine while I was there. I think that I probably just put my market hat on and nothing felt very different, at the time....

At home though, I feel dizzy, disorientated, tired, restless and, it's so hard to describe, it's like I have been fooled, by myself, into going to an event in the same place and with the same people but it was on a different day and not the event that I help organise....so I feel like I have been tricked and that maybe, as I wasn't where my brain thought I was (at the market) I was unsafe and didn't realise! 

I realise, reading this back, how weird it sounds, but I know I am not alone. The toll that stress and anxiety puts on your brain makes life so totally exhausting. No wonder I have chronic fatigue!

Roll on the market on Thursday so I can get back to (as) 'normal' (as I usually am!!!).
 
0 Comments



Leave a Reply.

    Archives

    April 2020
    February 2020
    January 2020
    November 2019
    September 2019
    June 2019
    May 2019
    April 2019
    January 2019
    September 2018
    January 2017
    August 2016
    October 2015
    June 2015
    May 2015
    February 2015
    January 2015
    December 2014
    August 2014
    June 2014
    May 2014
    April 2014
    January 2014
    November 2013
    October 2013
    September 2013

    Categories

    All
    Abuse
    Adoption
    Albanism
    Bipolar Disorder
    Birds
    Busu Village
    CBD
    Coronavirus
    Crafting
    Crossroads
    EMDR
    Fatigue
    Feelings
    Fibromyalgia
    Football In Uganda
    Gratitude
    Gypsy Roots
    Hope
    Hydrotherapy
    Iganga
    Inspiration
    Kampala
    Loneliness
    Loss
    Mam Mzungu
    Mariba Rainforest
    M.E
    Ndere
    North Devon
    Pain
    Poetry
    Pride
    Rejection
    Safari
    Sea
    Snake
    Soul
    Sponsor
    Street Boys
    Sunshine
    Suubi
    Suubi Medical Centre
    Therapy
    Travel
    Uganda
    Walking
    Wheelchair

Powered by Create your own unique website with customizable templates.