Feeling fatigued, the M.E way, so I thought I would write about what it felt like, for those who don't know.
I woke at about 9am this morning. After about half an hour I got up, went downstairs to the loo, put the kettle on, fed the menagerie whilst waiting for the kettle to boil, made a cuppa for myself and my hubbie then I came back up to bed. My medication has kicked in well today and I am fairly pain free - just 'uncomfortable'. I felt quite wide awake and refreshed so thought I would be able to be 'practical' today. Feelin' good!
I have read my emails and fb messages, flicked through what is going on with my friends on fb, thought I would see what I could do to my website as I haven't been on for a while. but I am drifting ... so tired, dizzy, eyes dropping, all against my will ... but I cant help it.
11.11am - I slept all night, aided by my medication. How can I now be tired 2 hours after I woke up, eyes just shut to blink and have had to mentally fight to open them. I am going to have to give up and sleep. Lets see what happens next in my deadly tiring and frustrating day!
Hi. Awake now at 2.30. It has taken me at least half an hour to open my eyes and 'log in' to my brain! I have been 'waking up' for about half and hour then, so must have slept until about 2.
Just wasted more time checking my fb account! Gonna do something constructive now. I want to include the opportunity on my website for people to join me on organised trips to Panama, a country I love, so I'm going to work on that.
Managed my Panama piece for over and hour but all my photo's are stuck on my other laptop which is broken-so pictures will have to wait. Starting to 'glaze over' and eyes stinging....meal time-phew! Just in time. Will revive me and keep me awake. My lovely husband has had to do all the cooking for my son and myself for three years now. My concentration is poor so I leave things in the oven too long or have to go to bed before its cooked and I cant hold heavy pans or get baking trays out of the oven either - just as well I HATE cooking (another thing I will blog about soon as my hate of cooking is not because of cooking itself-its because I was always told I was useless!).
Yum.....lovely! Roast dinner. Bit of anxiety running about my body as we are in for severe storms tonight. I'm not scared of storms, I love them actually when I am snug inside (which I am), but all the same, the anxiety strikes when IT likes, not actually when I am anxious, if you get what I mean!
I thought I shouldn't write my website until I had TOTALLY grown my soul......but realised that I will always be planting new experiences in my soul, so I may as well start the website and you can follow me along on the journey.
Well, I have done the one 'constructive' thing of the day that I try to do each day to make my life worthwhile, so tonight I expect I will watch TV or perhaps do a little bit of painting (see my planters gallery !).
I have left my bed just twice today - both times to go to the loo and while I was downstairs I did a couple of little jobs to make myself feel less guilty about being unable to do anything in the house and the rest of the day has been in bed, in my PJ's. When I go down again to go to the loo before bed, I will put a wash on overnight, my other little manageable job!
Today it would not have been possible for me to get up, washed and dressed and 'do anything'. By the time I had got washed I would have had to come back to bed exhausted. Being fatigued makes it so hard to even keep yourself clean, to eat, to engage with anyone. I have become agoraphobic, don't answer the phone or see anyone- unless I wake having had a refreshed sleep and my patient husband gets me out to the market with him.
Most of my days are like this...pretty boring...so I wont bore you anymore.....just that I like to think SOMEONE who doesn't have this crippling illness may read it and understand just a tiny bit better.
I woke at about 9am this morning. After about half an hour I got up, went downstairs to the loo, put the kettle on, fed the menagerie whilst waiting for the kettle to boil, made a cuppa for myself and my hubbie then I came back up to bed. My medication has kicked in well today and I am fairly pain free - just 'uncomfortable'. I felt quite wide awake and refreshed so thought I would be able to be 'practical' today. Feelin' good!
I have read my emails and fb messages, flicked through what is going on with my friends on fb, thought I would see what I could do to my website as I haven't been on for a while. but I am drifting ... so tired, dizzy, eyes dropping, all against my will ... but I cant help it.
11.11am - I slept all night, aided by my medication. How can I now be tired 2 hours after I woke up, eyes just shut to blink and have had to mentally fight to open them. I am going to have to give up and sleep. Lets see what happens next in my deadly tiring and frustrating day!
Hi. Awake now at 2.30. It has taken me at least half an hour to open my eyes and 'log in' to my brain! I have been 'waking up' for about half and hour then, so must have slept until about 2.
Just wasted more time checking my fb account! Gonna do something constructive now. I want to include the opportunity on my website for people to join me on organised trips to Panama, a country I love, so I'm going to work on that.
Managed my Panama piece for over and hour but all my photo's are stuck on my other laptop which is broken-so pictures will have to wait. Starting to 'glaze over' and eyes stinging....meal time-phew! Just in time. Will revive me and keep me awake. My lovely husband has had to do all the cooking for my son and myself for three years now. My concentration is poor so I leave things in the oven too long or have to go to bed before its cooked and I cant hold heavy pans or get baking trays out of the oven either - just as well I HATE cooking (another thing I will blog about soon as my hate of cooking is not because of cooking itself-its because I was always told I was useless!).
Yum.....lovely! Roast dinner. Bit of anxiety running about my body as we are in for severe storms tonight. I'm not scared of storms, I love them actually when I am snug inside (which I am), but all the same, the anxiety strikes when IT likes, not actually when I am anxious, if you get what I mean!
I thought I shouldn't write my website until I had TOTALLY grown my soul......but realised that I will always be planting new experiences in my soul, so I may as well start the website and you can follow me along on the journey.
Well, I have done the one 'constructive' thing of the day that I try to do each day to make my life worthwhile, so tonight I expect I will watch TV or perhaps do a little bit of painting (see my planters gallery !).
I have left my bed just twice today - both times to go to the loo and while I was downstairs I did a couple of little jobs to make myself feel less guilty about being unable to do anything in the house and the rest of the day has been in bed, in my PJ's. When I go down again to go to the loo before bed, I will put a wash on overnight, my other little manageable job!
Today it would not have been possible for me to get up, washed and dressed and 'do anything'. By the time I had got washed I would have had to come back to bed exhausted. Being fatigued makes it so hard to even keep yourself clean, to eat, to engage with anyone. I have become agoraphobic, don't answer the phone or see anyone- unless I wake having had a refreshed sleep and my patient husband gets me out to the market with him.
Most of my days are like this...pretty boring...so I wont bore you anymore.....just that I like to think SOMEONE who doesn't have this crippling illness may read it and understand just a tiny bit better.
