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Go to 'catagories' to have a look at some of my blogs on adoption, trauma, pain, disability and some of life's difficulties, where I write about finding hope from the pain and trauma, giving you encouragement and information to move on yourself and grow your own soul just a little bit more x

Grateful

15/9/2013

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I woke up feeling GRATEFUL today!

'It doesn't matter how low, in pain or lonely you feel - there is always someone worse off' - that's what people say isn't it.....makes us feel so selfish for feeling our own pain......
The problem is.....how can you SEE that, TRIGGER that thought, when you are in the depths of despair?
It is not selfishness that stops us seeing people who are worse off at that time in our lives.
I think, having been there myself, that it is almost impossible to think about other people you don't know when you are in that place.

That is why I am grateful.
I am grateful that in growing my SOUL, right now, I can prepare and savour my gratitude for the things I have in my life, so that should I ever be in that place again (which is a real possibility as I suffer from chronic depression) I have the gratitude in my soul already, as an integral part of me.

So what am I so grateful for? Well, I am OBVIOUSLY grateful for my family etc etc and all the usual things we are grateful for-and that is not meant to sound flippant- but in times of deep distress, I am glad for one time in my life which will forever stay in my soul.

I was in Panama.....how I got there is a long story and one for another day....but one day, I was taken to visit a family, who lived in a little shack in the rural area outside town. The family were so lovely. Mum, partially blind, their two toddlers and baby, and dad, a weed-whacker (as they call gardeners).

This family had NOTHING....and I really mean NOTHING, materially.
>Their wooden shack was collapsing and dad was too weak to fix it up and raise the roof on his own.
>There was little light indoors as windows would mean holes in the walls where cold and rain could come       in.
>Everything indoors would be done in the dark unless they were lucky enough to be able to afford oil for 
  their lamp.
>They had a little area closed off to sleep in.
>They washed and toileted in the stream nearby - very cold in the tropical rainy season.
> Mum wore an eight year olds pair of jeans as shorts as she had no clothes (and when they had been
   washed, they took so long to dry that she couldn't go out for days as these were her only clothes). 
>They had little food and what they had fed the children -both parents were frail and thin where they ate
   little.

You know what this family had though that was worth everything in the world- LOVE. Those parents loved and adored each other and the children. They were GRATEFUL for every little thing they were given. They were respectful, never asked for anything, were polite and would offer food to share if they had any.

So when times are tough and I cant buy a bar of chocolate I want at the moment I SOOOoooooo want it, I remember the family. I have taken the family into my SOUL. I will never forget them and am grateful for the love they showed me-the love of life, of relationships, of respecting and using natures gifts. I have a picture of them on my wall. I am grateful for everything I have.

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